There I was, having a moment of fear and insecurity in my relationship. Even in this most loving and trustworthy of relationships, I still have those moments. I "knew" it really had nothing to do with my sweetheart and everything to do with me.
But nevertheless, there it was. Not going away.
I don't know about you, but I have a whole bag of tricks for situations like this. Push it away. Make the other person wrong. Try to talk myself out of it. Stuff it. Yeah, THOSE work real well. Not going away.
This time, I tried something different. I tried what Martha Beck calls "learning to avoid avoidance." I allowed myself to feel it. I paused and breathed. I noticed what the fear and insecurity felt like in my body - heavy and thick and tight in my chest. I kept breathing. Not trying to fix it or make it change, just noticing. Just feeling and breathing. Staying with it.
And you know what? After a minute or two I felt it loosen, myself loosen. I opened up, and in that opening, this little gem dropped in like a big juicy raindrop:
"There will always be enough love in the Universe for me."
Whoosh. The scary emotions dissipated, and in their place was a deep, centered knowing. A knowing that no matter what happens in this relationship, that friendship, this human encounter, there is enough love in the world for me.
That was the message I needed to hear in that moment. I don't know why it made such a big difference, but it did. Maybe it speaks to you. Maybe it doesn't. You need the message that will speak to you.
Here's the point, Love. When I allowed myself to feel what I was feeling, to quit pushing it away, to breathe into it with compassion, I created the space for my own inner wisdom to speak to me.
When you honor your own beautiful soul, I believe it will speak you, too, with just the message you need to hear right now.
Give it a try. And let me know what happens in the comments below.
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