I have been trying this thing lately when things feel out of control, and it’s working for me, so I thought I’d share it with you.
 
You find yourself in a situation that feels intolerable. Maybe it’s your job. Maybe your baseball team’s bull pen falls apart during the play-offs. Maybe it’s an intractable dynamic at work or with your toxic brother-in-law. Maybe it’s a health scare or unexpected illness. 
 
And this week, perhaps the most contentious, disturbing, and defining election in the history of the United States is unfolding.
 
There is so much we can’t control.

But wait—this is a terrible situation that has to change! I know! And I say, “Hell, Yes!” to positive change. Believe me, I wouldn’t be a life coach if I didn’t believe in change.
 
And may it come soon.
 
But in this moment of pain, just as a practical experiment, I invite you to try this:
 
“I accept this moment exactly as it is. I offer no resistance.”
 
Say it again. And again. Feel your in-breath and your out-breath while you say it.
 
Notice anything? When I’m all worked up and I remember to pull out this mantra, I immediately feel calmer. More spacious. More present. More able to respond.

This is the paradox: Rather than feeling disempowered, acceptance brings me back into my power.
 
Here’s what I think might be going on.
 
Resistance requires a lot of energy. It’s like trying to hold multiple beach balls under water at the same time.
 
When we stop expending our energy on resisting, on arguing with the reality of how things are in this moment, we come back into the present moment or what Eckhart Tolle calls “the power of now.”

In the present moment, we call our power and our ability to respond back to ourselves.

This present moment is where our wisdom and power reside. In fact, it can be argued that this present moment is the ONLY place our wisdom and power reside.
 
I accept.
 
This moment. 

Exactly as it is.
 
I offer no resistance.

I am not saying we roll over to inequality, injustice, oppression, or bad behavior.

Not at all.
 
I say let’s speak up as often and as mindfully and as loudly as we can, whether it is in loyalty to our own beloved self, or in loyalty to our siblings in the family of earth, and in particular those who are being oppressed.

Nor am I offering advice if your body is on the line and you are under physical attack (and many of our sisters and brothers are). Breathe, yes, and use every resource to get yourself as safe as possible.

Let’s use resistance as a signal to breathe.

Let’s create a clearing for your own wise voice to come through.
 
I find solace and a path toward wise action in these words from Eckhart Tolle in Practicing the Power of Now:

And so, dear one, today I invite you to notice resistance as a friend in disguise—not only to uncover what your heart truly desires—but also to open your heart and mind to the calm truth of where you are in this very moment. If there is pain in this moment, offer yourself self-compassion. Offer this moment acceptance.
 
I accept this moment exactly as it is. I offer no resistance.
 
I live here. Here is where my power lives. Here is where love lives. I will respond from here.
 
I send you love today.

Xoxo,

P.S. If noticing resistance uncovered what you're ready to change in your own life, and you'd like a coach and trusted guide to help, then let's chat! Schedule a complimentary Clarity Session here.

Psychologists are finding that coloring is an effective way to reduce stress.

Coloring is an activity that engages different hemispheres of the brain, and relaxes the amygdala - the part of the brain that regulates emotions affected by fear and stress. And it helps move us into a freer and more creative state.

That's why therapists have been prescribing it to their clients since the days of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung. Read more about the many benefits of coloring here.

When my mind is agitated and I can't see my next step, or my monkey mind is too busy swinging from vine to vine to meditate, I reach for my markers and colored pencils. And it calms me right down. And it opens up my creative wisdom. 

Sometimes I write a meditative phrase, and I doodle and color around it:

And sometimes, I just draw a doodle line and color it:

I even do tiny 2-inch doodles in the notes section of my planner, just to kick off my day with creative calm.

1. Give yourself 5 minutes and just color. No need for perfection. No great expectations. Just follow your instincts for what color to choose next. No judging allowed!

2. Notice the physical sensations you feel as you color. What does your head feel like? What does your chest feel like? This is what calming your brain feels like.

3. Notice if anything has shifted--your energy, your mood, your perspective. Does anything look different? Welcome any ideas that come up. But if not, don't worry. Just giving yourself 5 minutes of stress-reducing calm has just done your mind and body a world of good. 

Ready for more? There are some great coloring books for adults out there. Walk into any bookstore or art supply, and you're likely to see a few. And a quick search online will bring up a plethora of options for stress-relieving designs. 

Do you have a favorite coloring book? Let us know in the comments below!

My sweet old Dad died recently. 

It’s been a long and arduous journey for him, for us, for me these past couple of years. And my mom’s needs continue to grow. We don’t know how long the journey ahead will be. We only know that love calls us to journey onward.

I miss him terribly. And I’m tired.

Lately, my throat aches with sadness and exhaustion.

Yesterday, my greatest wish was to feel vitality again. To want to go for a walk instead of dragging myself out for one. To want to greet the world and be a shiny presence that connects and inspires and heals. But I didn't feel very shiny.

By now, I know enough to allow myself to be *exactly* as I am. (Have you tried it?)

And so, I let go of driving myself and shifted to allowing myself.

I did what absolutely had to be done, and then I focused on nourishment. 

I read. I napped. I baked a chicken for myself and my love. I poured myself a splash of hearty red wine in a handmade earthen vessel. I put together a little plate of stinky cheese and healthy crackers and salty olives. I started a good novel. I sipped and savored while the chicken baked. I watched a little baseball and went easy on the boys when they lost. And I tucked myself in with my sweetheart at 9pm.

This morning, I woke at 4:15. I stayed tucked in the cocoon of my comforter and read essays written by that gloriously imperfect human, Anne Lamott. For hours. Then I soaked in the hot tub and showered. Then I made a cup of tea and meditated. Then I fed myself a plate of simple, fresh food.

Serious nourishment, all before 9am.  

(Note: Sometimes nourishment looks like sleeping ‘til 10).

As you may recall, my Word of the Year is “Passion First.” I’ve been writing it on my planner nearly everyday this year.

Except lately. I’ve been avoiding it because I have felt so utterly spent that "passion" felt like a long forgotten vacation. “Passion First” used to feel like permission to pursue my passion before any of my other work. Lately, has been feeling like a task master. A “should” that I could never attain.

This morning’s guided meditation was on compassion. As I allowed my busy brain to empty, it slowly dawned on me that my cup has run dry. 

Bone dry.

And the only way to refill my cup of passion is to pour a splash of hearty (com)passion into this earthen vessel and lift it to my own parched lips. Sip by tiny sip. 

That's what I started to do yesterday. And so, just a few hours later, I find myself writing a love letter to you, my beautiful tribe, to share a tiny sip of (com)passion with you too. 

Perhaps you are juggling many things that seem to be taking you away from your true passion. Perhaps you are still working hard in the land of “Not Yet” as you envision the life and work you really want. But “not yet” is still requiring a LOT of energy.

It’s enough to dry your creative juices right up.

The antidote? Self (com)passion.

Give yourself permission, Dearheart.

What is one gift of compassion you can pour into your own earthen cup today?

Do that. Lift it to your own precious lips and drink. And let us know about it in the comments below.

Much, much love,

Katie

P.S. My throat doesn't ache so much anymore.

There I was, having a moment of fear and insecurity in my relationship. Even in this most loving and trustworthy of relationships, I still have those moments. I "knew" it really had nothing to do with my sweetheart and everything to do with me. 

But nevertheless, there it was. Not going away.

I don't know about you, but I have a whole bag of tricks for situations like this. Push it away. Make the other person wrong. Try to talk myself out of it. Stuff it. Yeah, THOSE work real well. Not going away.

This time, I tried something different. I tried what Martha Beck calls "learning to avoid avoidance." I allowed myself to feel it. I paused and breathed. I noticed what the fear and insecurity felt like in my body - heavy and thick and tight in my chest. I kept breathing. Not trying to fix it or make it change, just noticing. Just feeling and breathing. Staying with it.

And you know what? After a minute or two I felt it loosen, myself loosen. I opened up, and in that opening, this little gem dropped in like a big juicy raindrop:

"There will always be enough love in the Universe for me."

Whoosh. The scary emotions dissipated, and in their place was a deep, centered knowing. A knowing that no matter what happens in this relationship, that friendship, this human encounter, there is enough love in the world for me. 

That was the message I needed to hear in that moment. I don't know why it made such a big difference, but it did. Maybe it speaks to you. Maybe it doesn't. You need the message that will speak to you.

Here's the point, Love. When I allowed myself to feel what I was feeling, to quit pushing it away, to breathe into it with compassion, I created the space for my own inner wisdom to speak to me. 

When you honor your own beautiful soul, I believe it will speak you, too, with just the message you need to hear right now. 

Give it a try. And let me know what happens in the comments below.