Maybe there's not a "special someone" in your life. Maybe that special someone has just departed your life. Maybe that special someone forgot. Maybe he or she didn't celebrate love quite the way you'd been hoping.
It can be a week/day/month fraught with anxiety, distress, let downs, unfulfilled longings.
That's why I like to be my own best Valentine.
What does that look like? It looks like doing things for yourself that nourish you. That nurture you. That let you know that YOU are special and worth doing something extravagant for. Extravagant doesn't have to mean money - it may mean attention, time, feeling.
Looking back on my life, these are 5 ways I have been my own best Valentine (whether it's Valentine's Day or not).
1. Choose to be Your Valentine. Decide to Like You. I'm in 7th grade. I have just moved from a small school in a big city to a big school in a very small town (it served the entire county). I'm the new kid, on the outside looking in. I remember the distinct moment when I think, "This is junior high. I can't count on anyone else to like me. It's up to me to like me." Since that day, there have been many, many moments when I've told myself, "It's up to me to like me. I choose you, Girl."
2. Plan a Gal-entines Party. It's my senior year in high school. I'm tall with nobby knees. A tomboy and a preacher's daughter. A late bloomer shall we say. I had good buddies, but no one asked me to prom. And I ached to go. First, I took time to feel it. That helped. Then the coolest thing happened. Some amazing young women in my class invited me on a girls' trip to Casper, Wyo (that was the big city!) on Prom Saturday. Road trip! We shopped, we laughed, we shared, and we took ourselves out to dinner. Spend time with dear friends and treat yourself like you're special, brilliant, beautiful, worth spending time with. Because the truth is you are, Dearheart.
3. Send a Friend-o-Tine. Text a friend. Send a card to a sibling. Call a dear one and tell them you love them. Tell them something you love about them. Did someone do something you appreciate? Tell them. Why? Because kindness feels good.
4. Do Something Extravagantly Romantic for Yourself. I'm in my 30s and it's Valentine's week. It turns out the guy I hoping was "the one" wasn't. There was a young poet in my town who would write personalized poems for $5 at the farmers' market. I decided to commission a love poem for myself. I told him, "Ben, this week I need a $20 poem." What he created for me was exquisite.
Maybe you don't have a poet readily at hand. What would feel romantic to you? Buy yourself flowers? Take time to savor a good book? Take yourself for a walk in the woods? Listen to a Valentine's blessing from Magpie Girl.
5. Make Yourself a Valentine. Even now, with a sweetie who fits me to a T, I still do romantic things for myself. Here's the Valentine I gave myself this week. I guess it's become a habit to do loving things for myself. Plus, it just feels good to play with markers and crayons and scissors and glue. (Noticing a theme here? Do something that feels good!)
How about you? I can't wait to hear from you! What are some of the things you've done to be your own best Valentine? Let me know in the comments below!